REPORTING ON ART AND FOOD from Troubled Places

Warning : This is a modern-primitive writing website, of impressionist rather than informative character.

Is 'Different' really different, or is it just my post-Lockdown hunger that made it look so special? It's on you to decide. Gallery Different, 14 Percy St, Fitzrovia, London W1T 1DR ,Commercial gallery for global painting, sculpture, drawing, print, photography and mixed media. Now open every day from 1200 to 1600

In the meantime in North London a life-instalation titled "Beyond Saved by Art Stage", artist anonymous

The good read : London Mayor candidates booklet

The Read, The Look and The Hair

The read of the Day is Mayor-Candidates booklet, a pertinente and funny - of the sort "not sure whether I should laugh or cry" - read.

The look : the weather is still perfect for suede boots, fanny bag and Serge Kirchhofer 70s sunglasses.

The Hair : is a fantastic post-Lockdown a la 'Hair Freedom Matters' hair. Its beauty is achieved thanks to a one-year long self-styling break through. A break through that didn't involve any hair enslaving torture methods like "professional hair dye" -dye or die? - or blow-dries - dries or dies? ... Loose curls? So dépassé, so pre-pandemic, so pre-BLM. And this is the civilizational chain, I hope, I broke forever - the chain bounding me to my hairdresser, regardless, how good a hairstylist, friend and DJ he is.

Back to the Read and my ideal candidate for mayor, who is, obviously, my personalised Frankenstein sawn from the bits and pieces of the candidates for mayor, and their statements, as they feature in the book starting from the cover and onwards. In other words:

My personal Frankenstein:

Steve Kelleher/ Social Democrats with: Return to community foot parols.

Shaun Bailey/Conservative with: a zero-emission bus fleet by 2025 and interest free loans for vlack cab drivers to go electric.

Mandu Reid/ Women’s Equality Party with: Make ending violence against women.

David Kurten/ Heritage Party with: Defend Free Speech and Liberty

Kam Balayev/ Renew with: Retake our share of the profits Big Tech generates from you. Revive London as a sport hub (💗). Rebuild London’s Youth Clubs. Balayev would have been my favourite if it wasn’t for all the other crap there and especially the thing about rejoining the EU… I know that eventually EU's greedy corruption will lead it to merging with the USSR, and the UK doesn’t, I repeat DOES NOT belong within the EUSSR. From where I stand, and unless I urgently die, the EUSSR will happen within my lifetime.

Vanessa Hudson/ Animal Welfare Party with: Push for carbon net zero status for London by 2025. Prevent future pandemics by promoting plant-based diets. Encourage public transport & improve air quality. Sustainable & affordable homes. Expand biodiversity. Thank you AWP for formulating so much in such a tiny space. Kick out the self-entitled Greens - not having even made it half way and they are already full of themselves.

My Personal Anti-Frsnkenstain (from the coven and onwards as they appear in the booklet):

Dian Berry/Green Party: already smelling “Labor sort of entitlement”; self-full, not even merely trying; counting on hard-electorate - such as my longlastingbutnotanylongerslef. The “clever tick green boxes ides” are not clever at all. “Destructive demolition of council homes”? Are they sustainable at all these old council houses? I bet they aren’t whatsoever. Cheap try.

Gammons/UKIP: No space for you in London, thus much is clear.

Richard Hewison/Rejoin Eu (? Really): Dear Richard, take a dinghy - they all sell empty - back and kindly rejoin Calais immediately. What sort of platform for London mayor “Brexit is broken” can be?

Shaun Bailey/ Conservative: … now… Shaun was nerely there… if he had only scrapped the crap “scrappe points 7 & 9" . The face is beautiful, the temptation - voting for a party at rule - is huge, yet: Reversing congestion Charge? 30 minutes free-parking for high streets? In this day and age? Real, alpha, strong hunters should go on their two feet hunting in the urban Jungle! I would have voted for Shaun if he had said everything he had scraped points 7&9 and added: Zero private vehicles in London; only electrified TFL + black cabs. Busses and black cabs in the bus lane. Bicycles and scooters in the central lanes. Pavement for pedestrians. Save the Greens by marrying them - Pure liberalism in 100% ecco environment - Like Lions. This should be Conservatives' task.

Luisa Porritt/LibDem - /what a loss of space - a whole page of not bothering… sneering down saying without bothering to articulate: “If you make your mind based on this booklet, we don’t need you”. Well, I don’t need you either.

There comes the Mayor that promises duvet coats and tiny dogs to the aspirational- massvoting-bio-robots. Labour self-dissolve immediately*. You are a pure loss of 02. No saving plan for you.

Hence, at this elections for Mayor I am voting :

For Mayor Option 1 : Mandu Reid/ Women’s Equality Party. Also because the text reads “Prepared by Amy Killen”; who else mensions who has prepared the text? Huh?

For Mayor Option 2: Vanessa Hudson/ Animal Welfare Party. May the AWP bury the Greens in a pet cemetery.

For my Local area Constituency London Assembly Member I am voting David Kurten/ Heritage Party - Islington needs a healthy balance to all its antifa activism.

For London-Wide Assembly Member - I am voting Kam Balayev for “It’s not about left or right, North or South”. When Belayev eventually realises that “not left or right, North or South '' doesn't mean “centre” but menas meta sub extra, then I will X him for a mayor.

To be continued...

20 April 2021

The National Gallery today announced the acquisition of Portrait of a Girl (about 1650) by Isaack Luttichuys (pronounced ‘Lootickhouse’) (1616–1673), the first work by the artist to enter a British public collection. Born in London in 1616 to Dutch parents, Luttichuys spent his early life in England, where the family was known as Littlehouse, the literal English translation of the name. He later moved to Amsterdam and enjoyed a highly successful career as a portrait painter until his death in 1673. The 17th-century oil painting has been acquired by the nation from the estate of George Pinto (1929–2018), banker and philanthropist, under the Acceptance in Lieu scheme, administered by the Arts Council. This follows the Gallery’s recent acquisition through the same scheme of three 18th-century works from the Pinto estate*. The National Gallery is grateful to Christie's for their support in ensuring these works join the collection.

*works acquired from the estate of George Pinto under the Acceptance in Lieu scheme Thomas Gainsborough (1727–1788) Portrait of Margaret Gainsborough holding a Theorbo about 1777 Oil on canvas 90.2 × 69.9 cm

Thomas Lawrence (1769–1830) Portrait of the Hon. Peniston Lamb about 1790 Oil on canvas 76.2 × 63.5 cm

Jean-Etienne Liotard (1702–1789) The Lavergne Family Breakfast 1754 Pastel on paper stuck down on canvas 80 × 106 cm

London, Sunday 18 April

Grim in the USSR at any time spot, or "Combat ready: status of giant robots in the separatist-controled Donetsk region of Eastern Ukraine" as reported by the FT on Friday, 16 of April

War CO2 Tax

Now, when Putin has moved about 50 000 troopers (FT, 16 of April) and only Lord - and some people too - knows how many tanks and other armament around its territory, I think it is a good time to establish a War CO2 Tax on the displacement of all military equipment and personnel.

A War CO2 Tax bill will be also sent to Biden for the displacement of US military personnel from Afghanistan. And so on. See who will pay their War CO2 Tax first. Very curious that is.

Then we will go and send War CO2 Tax bills to all warmongers worldwide - to the Saudi's for Yemen, to the Iranian's for Yemen too, etc - and backwards to WW2. To Iraq for the setting on fire of oil wells in Kuwait … and so on, you get the picture.

Then  and only then, we will sit back and think what the collected War CO2 Tax money will be used for.

For the time being, we need a scientific committee to calculate and issue a War CO2 Tax Price List, so that the warmongers can calculate their bills in advance - so that they can’t pull a surprised face upon reception.

Camden Passage reopened in its full splendour, Sunday 18 April

St Bride's Sunday 18 April

Eames Fine Art Gallery is Open Today

58 Bermondsey Street, London SE1 3UD

Open Saturdays 11am - 6pm and Sundays 11am - 5pm

Jason Hicklin | From the Edge of Europe | Eames Fine Art Print Room

 "The potato book : An International museum piece: The most expensive diet book in the world as described by its author Wouter Cornet" on The Potato Book under Books here 

“Hallelujah ! Hallelujah! If we can't, objects can still travel” otherwise known as ‘The Story of the Travelling Tea-Glass/Cup Holders.’ by Caroline Fakhri, based on her correspondence with Adrian from Denmark in ‘Traveling Objects’ is under ‘LAAF on Tour’  here 

Ronnie Wood in the art studio @julian_broad_studio

‘Midnight Climax’, by Soheila Sokhanvary. “My practice is often concerned with collective trauma and the subsequent historical amnesia, in which a culture experiences collective memory loss due to a traumatic act in the past. My Midnight Climax (Google the title) series focuses on a program of drug experiments that were designed and undertaken by the CIA between 1953 and 1973. Prostitutes were employed by the government to lure unsuspecting men int CIA ‘safe houses’ where they were given high doses of psychoactive drugs such as LSD and monitored for changes in their behaviour. These figures are often not anatomically correct since they’re meant to be seen through the lens of an LSD taker. Midnight Climax © Soheila Sokhanvary. 1 of 14 miniature drawings with Iranian crude oil and 22ct gold. actual size: 14x18 cm.” Soheila, after all, is the Microscope Painter.

N FT, Space and Drugs - The Universal Solution

NFT market - of digital art or other non-fungible tokens - tells me one thing : THE THINGS TO BE BOUGHT AND SOLD ON THIS EARTH - like Bitcoin turned to be a finite number to be exhausted - HAVE FINISHED.

Hence, in order to provide new items, the selling part of humanity is working in the usual two directions - THE MICRO AND THE MACRO COSMOS. New things to sell we could either find within, in the head-space; or outside, in the space space.

What drugs have to do in the lot? With drugs the issue is exactly the same but the other way round. The amount of drugs produced at present on Earth is enough to supply three planets Earth and a Mars. Else to say, while all legit tokens has been exhausted and there is nothing more to sell to an ever increasing population; no matter how quickly this same population increases the amount of drugs produced on Earth will be always three and a half times bigger. Thus, this over-drug-producrion would lead to dealers crossing continent and county borders, taking atypical drugs like, say cocaine, to atypical places like Africa or Tollerton.

Unless the first lot, the one with NFT and Space, discovers extraterrestrial life in big numbers, the second lot, the one with the crossing of continent and county borders is with bound hands.

Where does the government stand in this picture? In this picture the government is, more or less, nowhere to be seen. Yet, the government has expressed a - yes, another healthy - desire to crack on cocaine, if I may say so, consumption.

Forthcoming and voluntary consultant as I am, I would very much like to give good advice, but it is hard, for I don't exactly know what is the main problem of the government with cocaine in contrast to, say, Facebook?

Both generate tones of untaxed profit- Facebook considerably more than any cartel. Both exploit children's, and all sorts of other, labour. Both are harmful for the user affecting health and social life and in some cases lead to high dependence and social tissue destruction.

If the issue is gangs, criminality and the middle class children being dragged into a marginal life. Then the legalisation of cocaine would save most of these problems and the middle class children that are already in the cocaine equation will be able to continue the White stuff trade dressed in their class’s white shirts, funny colored tie and happy socks and a respectable jacket like their mommies and daddies, while titled things like White Stuff Executive or simply Stock Exchange Coke Shares Trader.

As I said, I am not sure what the government's main problem with cocaine is. Nevertheless, and in order to stay on the positive side and back a good healthy initiative I would suggest:

Why don't we start as we usually do - fighting unhealthy problems with one step at a time - with a national abstinence month, like in Sober October or Veganuary? Both initiatives are said to have decent participation and great effect.

We could have a Lockdown on Social Media July and then Crackdown on Cocaine August - with lovely life back in, bad habits might be easier to kick out and the two national months might turn into a big success.

Having said that I am thinking: why do I say "I don't know what the main problem of the government with cocaine is"? Forget cocaine, and reread the sentence. The main problem of the government currently and obviously is money.

Hence, we could turn the month equation around and say next year, say in July, the government opens shops and directly sells to the end-consumer all the drugs it has confiscated during the year? All well wrapped in biodegradable package accompanied by detailed content and provenance certificate? Huh? F♧nky you m☆ther f♧cker dealers. My only condition to the government here is : no private contracting. The Crackdown on Cocaine National Business Initiative will be led by a National Drugs We Own It Service under the close supervision of - no, not the Home Office they are completely useless; experience also shows that those who are useless are usually corrupt too (selling me each piece of paper twice or thrice! Huh! You think you are clever?). So no National Drugs We Own It Service for you Home Office! - a board of civil servants would do; as they are said to be "very professional" - it’s only that I am not sure where civil servants come from....

The same with The National Lockdown on Social Media August - no taxes, only the monthly profit of all social media goes into a National Social Media We Own It Fund, to be directly redistributed to the social media users in ratio to time spent on the respective social media. If the Social Media outlets refuse to agree - pull off the plug on them - yes, just like in Iran or in an African country. But if each social media user knows what is the stake - a payment in the pocket for the generated wealth, I doubt anyone would mind or protest.

Thus, the money from the National Drugs We Own It Trust will go to the State to be redistributed to, mainly, the NHS and Art Funds; because drugs are most harmful to health and creativity. No matter what artists say, drugs are harmful for people's creativity, just as much as for their health.

Back to the first version of the National Crackdown on Cocaine August - if in 2021 the nation does a month of abstinence; but in 2022 does a National Summer Abstinence Effort, then we might even bring down to half the price at source... but then the Pub-Owners' syndicate will protest - less drugs, less alcohol consumption, less money, less taxes, emptier Treasury... as I said - once we know what the main issue of the government is... there will be plenty of practical solutions.

But if the government genuinely and purely altruistically wants to find a definite cocaine solution, here it is: All the drug-cartel lords sit with all the terrestrial state leaders, Elon Musk and the other digital b♧ggers, Greta Tunberg and Men in Black and strike the following deal : the states buy all the amount of existing and future cocaine crops at its purest and at basic price. The drug lords are hyper happy because despite selling at a basic price, all their merchandise is securely sold in advance. Elon Musk is hyper happy as he will annually transport all the terrestrial cocaine to the Moon and will establish The Non-Boring Moon Company that year after year will cover the Moon’s service with the best pure white dust. Elon will personally go and supervise each trip… and sometimes will stay there to supervise the white-dust-spread proceedings. The whiteification of the Moon surface will increase its light-reflective capacity, and no more street lamps will be needed to illuminate streets, squares, bulevards, ponds and commons down on Earth at night. This will make Greta hyper happy, as it will be the most eco and electricity and resources saving way to illuminate terrestrial public space. Apart from Hyper Happy Elon, The Other Digital B♧ggers are hyper happy too because now they sell virtual, obviously unatxable, single-use straws to all the terrestrial cocaine users and various volumes of virtual cocaine doses. The virtual cocaine will be a brainwashing wave that some NewStar Digital B♧gger will hyper timely invent.

The national health services will be hyper happy too - no more overdose admissions and much less cardiac arrests and brain blood clothes; with the only inconvenience being that when asked about their symptoms the NFTCocaineUsers will only say “More, More, More” instead of other words. All Men in Black will be hyper happy as well because now: if extraterrestrial life in this universe exists, with the Moon covered in Coke, they will know where to find it.

Note: for the wise advice I am only charging £333.333,00 which is half of CW’s habitual consultancy fee of £666,666.00 is. Mind you, she would have given the exact same advice but put differently.

Women Can Everything @Laaf. Elis and Tony

We can do it @Laaf. My childhood friend turned Highgate Housewife Elis, teaching Tony to read - what wouldn’t Tony do for a piece of apple?

@Soheila Sokhanvari I found this photograph of my previous life, omg so many years ago. I want to also set a record correct, I worked for Cambridge University under my married name, Swanton, I didn’t get my degree from there. I worked as a research Cytogeneticist in the department of Haematology researching adult Leukaemia. I have nightmares about still working there and in my dream I am about to present a talk and think to myself “omg, I’ve been painting all the time, what am I going to present ??” 🤷🏽‍♀️anyways, can you spot the drawing on my table? I couldn’t stop being an artist even then.

Dancing Queen©️ Soheila Sokhanvari. Sketchbook drawing, portrait of Jamileh, 2021, Ink on paper. Jamileh is the stage name for Fatemeh Sadeghi, before the revolution she was one of the most famous international dancers of Middle East and the highest paid cabaret dancer of Iranian origin in 1974. She performed for Onassis and Henry Kissinger as well as other prominent guests. She was born in Tehran, her father was a walnut seller who later became an actor in the local theatre scene . As a child she became proficient in belly dancing and often performed with her father. After fleeing Iran, due to the revolution, she continued her career in LA by dancing through her fifties and only stopped about 15 yrs ago. She is the subject in my “Dancing Queen", 2019, egg tempera painting.@Shoeila Sokhanvari.

Mushroom on My Mind or Essex Road - London's Culinary Red-light District

At the moment when Boris Johnson is setting a good example to the nation by running more, eating less and looking younger and younger with each passing day, my hood is turning into a gourmet jungle.

Admittedly, we've never risked starvation living where we live, but what once looked like a handy convenience now looks more and more like alimentary Las Vegas - even if you've never had food related problems, you may well develop such in its food-traps filled environment.

As if the best baker, Raab's the Baker - now with a new technologist whose low-sugar inventions may proudly compete with the best Japanese patisseries in town - Steve Hatt, the best fishmonger - clams, samphire and swordfish; James Elliot, the best lamb and mint burgers in town and Ali Baba's Cave - called so because it displays "bird’s milk" as goes the Bulgarian saying to describe the accumulation of Iraqi dates, North Macedonian pickled cabbage, South Macedonian sorry Greek κουλούρι, Turkish şeker halkası, Bulgarian краве сирене, Ghanaian Shito fish paste, Indian हरी सब्जी in a jar at one timespacepote otherwise known as the Food Bazar - were not enough; now the dry cleaners have become an Italian deli selling playful aubergines and purple carciofi e cacocciùli frivolously distracted by primitivi, chianti and trebbiani; the print shop had turned into a maaaasssive XXXL natural farm food exhibition hall - called Kazan, how else would one call a gastronomic shop in London’s N1 if not after the capital of the Republic of Tatarstan? - featuring oversized freshly roasted chickens on its windows infusing the air with blasphemous grill-fragrances for the joy of the sweaty pavement runners; and the only art gallery on Essex Road metamorphosed into ... Gigantic - maaaasssive X X XCLIV size -English cheeses and selected English wines shop....

Excuse me, trapped amidst this mad food galore how exactly am I supposed to grow younger? sorry, slimmer despite all the running up and down? No wonder nowadays croissant is the first thing on my mind when I wake up in the morning and mushroom veloute the last thing I think about when I lay my head on the pillow in the evening.

While P, who after his 7am visits to Sainsbury’s Saturday morning, on his way home has to pass through this two-side parade of bottled bacchanalic spirit starts asking, about 9am, what is the earliest appropriate convenience to open a bottle of wine; to which I like to say “According to the Rushian Ship Etiquette : The first popping of corck happens at 11:30 am”.

LAAF 2020 Favourites 


Weapon of Vice, by Bambi, Pipckerying Street or how the symbolism of a piece of art might change from one day to another during a pandemic, mid March

Shamsia the Clairvoyant, Women By Women exhibition, see bellow. 8 March or couple of weeks before the quaranteen.

In the Times of COVID19

I wonder what France does with its ban on face covering...?

"The bill prohibits the wearing of face-coverings in public places and also applies to foreign tourists visiting France. The law imposes a fine of up to €150, and/or participation in citizenship education, for those who violate the law." Wiki

Other contemporary practice that in the Times of COVID19 strikes a particularly rotten pose is the one of the Admin*-Abattoirs as I call them.

Think of the new Camden Municipality building, the one next to Google at the otherwise so luring new Pancras Square, with the exciting postcode N1C. Or also think of the Chelsea and Westminster Hospital NHS Foundation HR, the one at Chelsea Harbour (this shamelessly boggling expression of greed that hadn't allowed the growth of a single tree amongst the sardinesquashed buildings...posh? mon queue). I am saying these admin-abbatoirs where up to hundred people are jammed desk to desk with not as much as a cubicle, like the ones in American films, to separate them; and where staff 'meets clients' in massive equally unpersonalized lobbies (overheated or hipper cold respectively), I mean these monstrosities are as a pure health hazard as a chemical attack.

And before my Lady of Elevation, the Starry Badger ** nags me for sueshoutingattea***, which is the contemporary English for unconstructive criticism, I will say : Nay, I am not sueshoutingattea and here is my sconeandclottedcream which is the contemporary English for "having a positive idea nearly solution":

Whenever you've created a workplace for humans - step back, squint your eyes and examine the creation. If it looks like admin-abattoir, start again thinking aesthetics and respect. If aesthetic and respect are incorporated health conditions would be bettered too.

Admin Life Matters.

*By Admin I mean all working for public institutions.

**Caitlin Moran aka CW

*** For contemporary English entry 'sueshoutingattea' follow the link and read N1 ' Yorkshire Tea' here


Shield! by Shamsia and Shamsia by Tahmina, at Women By Women exhibition, by ActionAid at OXO Tower, until 8 March

Women By Women and Niqab for Men

An example of strongly talented clairvoyance : Shamsia wears a mask before everybody else. Unfortunately the photos on this exhibition are not dated, so we don't know how much before everybody else exactly.

Shamsia was born as Afghan refugee in Tehran, where the Women-Fearing regime did not allow her to study art (as in addition to Women-Fearing the regime in Tehran is also a Muslim-slaying one - not only it slays Syrians but it also deprives from all rights and dignity the Afghani refugees seeking shelter on its lands).

Today, Shamsia is a street artist, fine arts lecturer and professor in sculpture at the University of Kabul. And hopefully for many a year to come despite all manmade wars and batmade viruses. Else to speak despite all Batmen.


By the way, suddenly, in the eternal match Iran vs Saudi Arabia, SA scores yet another goal - Saudi women's gear is more en vogue with the last virus fighting trends. Lately, I am thinking shouldn't we all, women and men, start wearing full niqab?... for couple of months at least. 

Women By Women exhibition, by ActionAid is at OXO Tower, until 8 March

Extinction Rebelion visiting Antony Gormley

Fly now Pay Later - Extinction Rebellion at Antony Gormley

An endearing, lonely extinction rebellionist was a live female sculpture amidst Gormley's Iron Men.

Sea of Tranquility Sea of Plastic by Polite Extinction, @politeextinction

Sea of Tranquility Sea of Plastic

Mare Tranquilitatis is a lunar mare that sits within the Tranquilitatis Basin on the Moon.

Polite Extinction, went to Goldsmiths BA, MA, Museology in Ed, PGCE university of Brighton and is currently in artistic residence at Budapest.