G G for Go Green

Getting Ready for the Clean Ups

See Laaf's two clean-ups bellow

Despite the efficiency and pleasantness of Camden Environmental Team the experience was rather scary because of the...computerised elevators.

Using a computerised elevator I found myself at the 8th floor. There, at the 8th floor, my 2nd-floor-pass wasn't working. Unable to call or use the elevator, with two large packets in my arms, surrounded by people asking me why my pass isn't working and suspiciously looking at the pick-up sticks packets, I had a good sweat bath before finding my way out.

My first contact with centrally managed computarised elevators turned to be a rather depressing experience.

Looking forward to see what AI: More Than Human exhibition (at the Barbican  opening 16 May) will say on the subject.

5 April 2019


Laaf is happy to announce two clean-ups :

Corduroy's Hampstead Heath Spring Clean Up

Date: 2019-04-20

Time: 12:00 

Location: NW5 1QR

All welcome

and

London Art and Food Welcome Summer Clean Up

Date: 2019-04-27

Time: 10:30

Location: N1 8DU

 

 

For

Corduroy's Hampstead Heath Spring Clean Up 

we gather at 12 noon at the quiosqu at Parliament Hill.

 

For 

London Art and Food Welcome Summer Clean Up

We gather at 1030 at Islington Green then we mobe behind St Mary Church then Asteys Row Rock Gardens and the New River Path 


The Flower Boys

The Flower Boys on Bicycles are now in town.

Their Flower Box functions on a similar principal to that of the Veg Box : instead of cabbage roses.

Delivered by tall, handsome and fit young men.... forget the postman and the plummer.

Visualise Axl Rose but young, taller and with British manners ringing your door bell armed wit a box of seasonal flowers....

(See the picture bellow!)

Hello spring.

A Freddie's Flowers boy


The GGGunner Tree, Finsbury Park tub station

 

At a time when the eco-bomb menace has frenzied me, just as much as, if not more, than the atomic-bomb (it took only 20 years for nature to revive around Chernobyl, while the planet might no longer exist by the time all the plastic we’ve produced dissolves. Or some strange plastic creatures, indestructible and undissolvable, might come into existence, and then who knows...). P suggests that there is already a bio-mutant-cell eating all manmade fibre "But they keep it in a glass box which is in another glass box, which is in another glass box", Russian puppets like...

In a word, I decided to resort to my usual technique called "Do something about it". Which means, so far, cleaning around the places where I have been for more than 5 min (mainly benches in parks or seats on buses or bus stops).

The amount of rubbish that people leave in gardens or on a bus/bus stop is despicable.

Cleaning around a bench is generally fine, and the rubbish bins are usually two, three steps away, max. I even had the occurrence of a man, a real gentleman quoi,  who after seeing me collecting about 15 fag butts around the bench we were sharing, suggested to take the crop to the bin; and even insisted on doing so, despite me trying to dissuade him since both our hands would then stink and not only mine.

Collecting rubbish at bus stops (I’ve limited myself to the collection of rubbish left only on the benches) or on the bus, is a whole different story, mainly because a) there are rarely rubbish bins around the bus stops, and b) it is mainly  stinky fast food boxes smeared with ketchup and even stinkier half-drunk energy drink cans (oh, if only they were empty).

Now my friend K had promised to give me “Father’s Hand” which is what he calls, you know, this very clever device that looks like a metal pad/claws? which sometimes we see other people, dressed in green and orange, use. “Why Father’s Hand?” I ask. “Because when I saw it as a boy, I thought it was as skillful and useful as my father’s hands”, he says. The only problem with Father’s Hand though is that, unlike the real thing, it doesn’t bend or fold; therefore, just like the real thing, I can’t put it in my handbag and carry it around…

Thus, I decided to google “cleaning charity”... and found only three cleaning charities: one that cleans elderly people’s homes (not what I had in mind); one that volunteers to clean charity organisations’ windows for free (clever, but not what I had in mind either); and Thames21, whose rubbish catchers we’ve all seen floating on the river from the Millenium Bridge, and probably in many other places. (Since, I’ve found Keep Britain Tidy, only to find out that I’ve just missed #thegreatplasticpickup in collaboration with The Daily Mail. Should I start reading it?)

I am thinking by the time humanity, in all the corners of the world, embraces democracy, strictly tyrannical eco measures will be imposed. This of course if humanity turns to be cleverer than it looks. Then we will all be engaged in “mandatory volunteering of Asian type” giving “hundreds of thousands of pay-free labour-hours” and the 6 day working week will come back, with the sixth day being Planet Day. And then, I would probably regret my today’s subscription to #litterheros and all the Saturdays/Sundays I will no longer be staying in bed…

 
 

Le Déjeuner sur l'herbe a l'anglaise, LAAF

“Leave the place more beautiful than you found it.”

With my newly acquired patriotic fervour, and shiny-new Permanent Residence (never mind that I, the biggest voter, having voted at the “First democratic elections in the country” of two countries, no less, have forgotten to cast my vote at the local Town Hall election this 3rd of May - although I blame this on the ‘quietest democratic election’ I’ve ever witnessed), I would like to see an English cosmetic brand be the first to introduce a Future-Generation-Friendly-Draught-Cosmetic-Policy. And be so clever about it, that all others will follow.

Liquid hand-wash, shower gel, body lotion, shampoo, conditioner etc - all poured into customer’s own reusable containers, from a big barrel. This move will be called the English Step in Ecology, a worthy equivalent of the Cuban Step in Salsa…
Then special codes will be engraved on metal containers, under the guise of loyalty cards (my bottle will contain many codes, as I am not brand-loyal). So, presenting the English Step Container would earn you points. And the necessary amount of points will earn you entry to exciting tombolas such as 'Unique plastic bottle smash off the day', 'New technologies laboratory visit' or 'Plant a hibiscus bush on our product-field, and it will get into your facial next year'; and many others, more fascinating and more imaginative than mine...
The English Step brand won’t produce any of the endless samples of little plastic boxes or sachets.  If you'd like a sample, you'd have to bring your own little box. Then silver craftsmen will sit on their craftsman tables and hammer out wonderful small, medium and large facial cream boxes (since silver is antiseptic). I personally, would save five years in a row, to commission a tailored full (facial and body) stud silver cosmetic set, which later on, my step-daughter will be glad to inherit and pass on to future generations. And the new silver cosmetic set will become what the silver table set once was. Or, alternatively, economise for 20 years and get a glass Lalique set! Mmmmm.

 

Brands might start producing their own metal or glass boxes; just as Marlboro launched their metal ten-ciggis pack, just before the ban on both ten-cigarette packets and cigarettes logos. And, here I am, a year later, smoking my Camel Blues out of a metal Ten Marlboro Lights box. Boxy but foxy.