Celebrity Watch Watch Back

Or 'In bed with Caitlin Moran' also known as 'Saturday Morning'

CW Cruising

Caitlin Moran is on holiday. Only nine days - from 4 to 13 July, she will be cruising on the More than a Woman Life (Saving) Ship. Stopping at Bradford, Basingstoke, London, Nottingham, Newcastle and Edinburgh.

Taking at heart CW's confort while on her stop at the Royal Festival Hall in London, LAAF suggests a stay at Locke at Broken Wharf also known as Millénium Bridge London Hotel which has a lovely, bright River Suit in bamboo colours. It's only a minute walk from the Festival Hall and tu le vaut bien! Just ask me - I adore hotels and this one looks good.

Checking on hotels on CW's cruise stops is how this Sunday morning I filled the time - known as my In Bed With Caitlin moran Time - I would have otherwise spent reading Caitlin's usual Saturday column.

Caitlin is missing already second week from the magazines pages. I wonder why? Maybe she is on an extensive hatandsunglasses-shopping trip? Don't forget getting some flip-flops Caitlin, you might need them by the Leith.

CW, Imaginative news - called by some fake news - are better than no news! Otherwise people may start to worry, asking themselves unanswered quesrions: Where is CW? What's going on? At least now they known.

CW's Imaginary Friend

CW's imaginary friend is called Luna! In the same way that my imaginary friend is called Caitli Moran. The trick with imaginary friends is that they are only visible to person that has them. That's why people at zoom parties with me don't get to see Caitlin Moran; just like people watching THE POWER OF LIVE: DOGLOVE*, the online show with Caitlin Moran aka CW, don't get to spot her imaginary friend Luna.

Other than that, in the show CW gave her audience two very pertinent kept-in-secret-facts; one about cats and one about dogs. Of which I won't unveil either; instead I would advise the unreasonable people that still don't have a The Times subscription to get one - in Lockdown- (The)Times, just as in all- TheTimes there is no better reminder of the Belle Pre-Pandemic Époque than a good physical manifestation of a newspaper in the consensual reality. Say end November last year, when we were in Tire 3 and Cafe Bohème has reopened, half of its charm has gone with the disappearance of the fan of newspapers spread on the bar. For how good was it Pre-Pandemic when one could cool down one's peeping-hot onion soup by reading the solid-frozen, five-day-old eyes-cubes, pardon, "news" in Le Mond of the same day thinking "Thanks God for The Times; and how good it is that in London one can have all the smelly cheese in the world plus some fresh news from The Times.

Back to our main subject - I would like to hint to CW a couple of possible explinations of her observation that her imaginary friend Luna, gets upset when she, CW that is, is about to have sex with her husband:

It might be that your imaginary friend Luna is a very - apart from self-conscious - jealous girl.... that's why she can't have you having sex, be it merital - If we accept that such thing as a marital sex exist at all. For I would rather call it a Marriage-Oblige Copulating Exercise or A Physiological Vows Renual. Obviously the name has to be pompous like the institution which nurses it.

With the second option being your imaginary friend might want you to have a proper doggy sex.Your imaginary dog, basically, has you for an icon, and it insists you should do it, sex that is, the right way - a quicky with a barking stranger in a dark Hampstead Heath alley.

On the poo-eating matter, I am absolutely with you - I love The Bridge, I adore Spiral - eating poo is dogs' prime (The)Times criminal series. Once in a dog's mouth the lump of stool explodes into fireworks of profiler's visions.

Before I go I have many questions to ask. All irrelevant to DOGLOVE, but that has to be cleared of the way, so that I can watch the next show without getting distracted by irrelevant questions:

What's the painting behind Matt Chorley? What's the decoration beside Caitlin Moran? What are the wines at Matt Chorley's winestand? Who's bed is behind Caitlin Moran? Is it the guest randamous bed? What do all the pink and yellow notes on the memo-board next to Caitlin Moran read? 

*Subscribe and watch CW's Imaginary Friend featuring in DOGLOVE here 

7 February 2021