FMLGBT+ Brit Award Oh Yeah Baby Gimme More

'How to give a hammer as a present' by Adrian Coto, 'The Flesh Pierced' , Photography Arts MA, University of Westminster Post Graduate Photography Shows. 35 Marylebone Road. NW1 5LS

Right, as she usually is, Our Lady of Wisdom and Laughter has been strangely timid and award-stingy - possibly affected by some pre-menoposal Scroogeness that should be forgiven - these days by suggesting of a gender-neutral Brit award to be added to the existing Best Female and Male Artist Brits Award.* Thus, being obviously right on the point that the awards should get more and not less, but somehow missing the notion of "more" in the word "more" and suggesting one instead of... well more awards.

Maybe CW has been simply letter-shy. Therefore, LAAF suggests an award for every single letter in the LGBT letter-combination and at least four more awards for the +, as the + can be dismantled into at least four micro -. Thus ending with an L Brit Artist Award (LBAA), G Brit Artist Award (GBAA), BBAA, TBAA, ⟵BBA, BBA⟶,

  ↑      BBA,

BBA,    ↓     at least.

For you see, how much does a fair and square lesbo in a checked shirt, acoustic guitar, husky voice and heavily militant lyrics have the chance to win an award in a single gender neutral Brit award category opposite a peacocky gayo-diva in rainbow-sequence, stilettos and contralto or a unicorny mezzo-transo-prima in feathers and jenesaisqoi? I can immediately tell you: ZERO. Or at least not more than would have Annie Lennox gotten in 1984,5,6 and other years was the Female Artist Brit Award category non-existent. Hence, YES, more categories, but much much much much more x2.

Adding much much more x2 to the Brit Awards will save another issue; the one with the length of the event, because once we've added all the much much more x2 awards, each of the awards will get its own evening. So that the Brit Awards will turn into a sort of local, yearly Olympics for music. Taking part in ... obviously January. The second and the third third. Saving many lives from January depression and drunk and disorderly pub-ruin. Or not.

Why much much more x2? Mainly and above all, because no revolution - as in an effort to toppel an establishment with the sole purpose to replace it, and not with the purpose to secure liberty, equality and happiness to all, has never brought any good. For reference check November, Cuban and other revolutions; alternatively watch the Franco-Mexican film Nuevo orden**. True advancement needs exploration, discovery, construction. Which obviously takes time and effort. I know bugger. While as destruction ditto revolution is so seductively easy and quick...

Yet, if the ideas of construction vs destruction is too abstract, try to serve some sausage with some barley and veg and invite vegans to share it with you. Vegans have gone to explore, discover and create a whole new cuisine for themselves, with its, ingredients, recipes and hubs. So did the vegetarians before them. So did the first pescaterians effort before them. It took about 50 years for the meat non-eaters, at least in our part of the world, to come to the point at which we are and from here on to become a bredominant eating culture. In the mid seventies it was the strange kid together with the two Sikh boys eating potato mash and petit pois each lunch at the school cantine.

Otherwise to say, differentiation is civilisation. And equality is based on this.

* A Gender-Neutral Brit awards is terrible news for Harry Styles and Stromzy, Caitlin Moran

25 November 2021


** In each and every revolution women are the prime and major sacrifice.